This is what happens when you take a class on faith . . .
I was praying last night as I was trying to fall asleep. Well, I wasn't praying as much as I was fussing at God about what seems like an impossible situation.
He said "pray."
I fussed some more.
He said "pray."
It wasn't something He hadn't told me before. I fussed some more.
He said "pray."
I finally replied, "but that's not practical!"
Yikes! My response startled me.
I'm practical. I like the practical. I don't like things like "press in deeper into worship." How? I want step-by-step. How do you press in deeper into worship? You focus on the words; you choose to physically engage yourself (raise your hands); you close your eyes to remove distractions...I could go on and on. I'm a practical girl.
Last night I was frustrated at not knowing what steps to do and yet God has made it very clear that my step is prayer. I responded out of desperation and felt like that that wasn't enough. I didn't even know what to pray, what to say as it really seems like an impossible situation.
My feeling last night lead me down a startling road. God said pray...that is my practical step. I must pray.
Is prayer practical? When I look at my life and what prayer has done (all I have to do is think about my miracle Jacob who came 10-weeks early!), it makes me want to scream YES, but in the middle of something all I can muster is a somber, quiet yes.
My lack of faith, especially after a class on faith just a few hours before, was saddening. Who am I to question God, Who sees and knows EVERYTHING, on what He has asked me to do. I asked for steps and He gave them to me...pray!
I fell asleep still startled at my outburst. I woke up this morning humbled that in spite of my lack of faith, God still pours out His grace to me.
His answer this morning was still the same "pray." So I pray and wait and pray and wait. I look back on what He has done in my life and know in my deepest parts that it is He Who works all things according to His purpose and plan...it is He Who has a hope and a future for me...it is He Whom has proven Himself trustworthy.
I know I need more faith...I asked for more faith...I had an opportunity to look my lack of faith square in the eyes...I ask for more faith and I move forward. I have my marching orders...pray and so I pray.
Is prayer practical? What a silly question! Of course it is!!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Time Flies
Wow does time fly! It seemed like just yesterday it was the beginning of July and now it is almost August. When I started this blog, I had grand dreams of posting at least once a week, if not twice. Lately, I have found my time slipping through my fingers. My mom is getting married this weekend, my baby turned one today (more about that in a second) and we leave for our youth retreat in 2 weeks...I have been busy with everything and haven't had time to blog (after the youth retreat, life returns back to normal and you will get to experience, yet again, my beautiful ramblings).
Crazy times like this makes me stop and think, that is when I get a chance to stop...think about how time does fly. There are always things to do, always things to keep us busy, but are you, am I, spending my time doing what is important? It is easy to get busy and stay busy, but business is sometimes just that--business.
My favorite word right now is "edit". When I have a lot on my plate, I have to "edit" what I am doing. What is important to get done? What can stay undone? Do I need to do this task or do I need to sit down and read a book to my kids? What are my priorities and is how I'm spending my time matching up to my priorities?
All good questions--questions that I don't seem to have much time to answer, but need to be answered. Answering those questions help me make sure that the important things (which is sometimes going to the bank and sometimes a tickle session with my kids) don't fall through the cracks. Something else that helps me through the crazy times is remembering that life is full of seasons and there is an end to the crazy, it isn't forever (but my thoughts on seasons are too many for this post...another time).
The biggest reminders of how time flies? Birthdays! My Parker turns 1 today. I can't believe it 
has already been a year, but at the same time I can't remember what life was like before him. One day I'll have to post Jacob and Parker's birth stories as they are an amazing testimony of God's grace and power. My Parker was born about 5 weeks early and couldn't be more perfect. The sound of his cries in the delivery room were the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.
has already been a year, but at the same time I can't remember what life was like before him. One day I'll have to post Jacob and Parker's birth stories as they are an amazing testimony of God's grace and power. My Parker was born about 5 weeks early and couldn't be more perfect. The sound of his cries in the delivery room were the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. When life gets crazy busy and I'm overwhelmed with my to do list, remembering back to times like that...the perfect and beauty of a baby's first cries...helps me remember what is important.
I think I need to go hug on my boys now and then get back to my list...
Friday, July 1, 2011
diligence . procrastination . laziness . oh my
Diligence. I don’t like that word. It is hard. It is not natural. It isn’t always fun. I bothers me when I’m not that, but it is so hard to be that.
Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines it this way:
(by the way, my FAVORITE dictionary…yes, I’m a nerd because I have a favorite dictionary!!!)
D I L I G E N C E : steady application of any kind; constant effort to accomplish what is undertaken; exertion of body or mind without unnecessary delay or sloth; care; steadily applied; prosecuted with care and constant effort
Whew! I’m exhausted.
If I’m not being diligent, what am I doing? Procrastinating?
Procrastination. It is such an easy trap to fall into especially being a stay-at-home mommy. I don’t have deadlines. Feed the kids and wipe their booties. That is all I HAVE to do on any given day. If I don’t want to clean the bathroom in the morning, there is always the afternoon, or during nap, or tomorrow, or next week. I have an AMAZING husband who gives me so much grace when the shower doesn’t get cleaned because it has been a crazy day…how often, though, do I take advantage of that grace and push the shower cleaning to tomorrow?
Let’s be honest here. The opposite of diligence is not procrastination, it is…wait for it…it is an ugly word…L A Z I N E S S. Yuck! I loathe that word. If I’m not being diligent with my time, let’s just face the facts, I’m being lazy.
Sometimes the shower doesn’t get cleaned and that is not because of laziness, but because of priorities. Sometimes it is more important to play play-dough with my 3-year-old or stretch out on the floor and be used as a jungle gym for my 11-month-old than it is to clean the shower.
Too often, sadly, it is laziness that I have allowed to creep into my daily routine. Ouch. Honesty isn’t always pretty.
Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it as if you were working for the Lord and not for man.” WHATEVER you do…that means all…everything…every moment of every day. If I were to log how I spent every minute of the day, how would I measure up?
Sometimes we do need rest. Sometimes we do need me time. God rested on the 7th day. It is ok to sit on the couch and watch 19 Kids and Counting. The question I ask myself is, how much of this am I doing?
I want it to be said of me that the way I spent my time was purposeful, diligent, wise. I don’t spend my time that way now. Some days I do conquer laziness and diligence wins, but not as often as I would like.
If I want the use of my time to be described as
P U R P O S E F U L
D I L I G E N T
W I S E
then I have to start somewhere.
My starting place: the oldest gets up at 630am, the baby gets up at 830am. In this season I have no excuse and must have a quiet time in the mornings while my big boy is resting on the couch watching a movie. I also need to do something with my oldest during the baby’s morning nap. I don’t need to jump on the computer right away, but we can do something fun together or clean together or even watch a movie together. We just need to do something together. He needs that mommy time. (and I need the practice if I’m going to attempt homeschooling!)
2 purposeful baby steps towards diligence with my time. I can conquer laziness in these areas and once that is done, more baby steps to follow!
Laziness: this is your warning. You are being squeezed out of my daily routine. You cannot co-exist with diligence and I choose diligence. Goodbye laziness. Have fun somewhere else!
Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines it this way:
(by the way, my FAVORITE dictionary…yes, I’m a nerd because I have a favorite dictionary!!!)
D I L I G E N C E : steady application of any kind; constant effort to accomplish what is undertaken; exertion of body or mind without unnecessary delay or sloth; care; steadily applied; prosecuted with care and constant effort
Whew! I’m exhausted.
If I’m not being diligent, what am I doing? Procrastinating?
Procrastination. It is such an easy trap to fall into especially being a stay-at-home mommy. I don’t have deadlines. Feed the kids and wipe their booties. That is all I HAVE to do on any given day. If I don’t want to clean the bathroom in the morning, there is always the afternoon, or during nap, or tomorrow, or next week. I have an AMAZING husband who gives me so much grace when the shower doesn’t get cleaned because it has been a crazy day…how often, though, do I take advantage of that grace and push the shower cleaning to tomorrow?
Let’s be honest here. The opposite of diligence is not procrastination, it is…wait for it…it is an ugly word…L A Z I N E S S. Yuck! I loathe that word. If I’m not being diligent with my time, let’s just face the facts, I’m being lazy.
Sometimes the shower doesn’t get cleaned and that is not because of laziness, but because of priorities. Sometimes it is more important to play play-dough with my 3-year-old or stretch out on the floor and be used as a jungle gym for my 11-month-old than it is to clean the shower.
Too often, sadly, it is laziness that I have allowed to creep into my daily routine. Ouch. Honesty isn’t always pretty.
Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it as if you were working for the Lord and not for man.” WHATEVER you do…that means all…everything…every moment of every day. If I were to log how I spent every minute of the day, how would I measure up?
Sometimes we do need rest. Sometimes we do need me time. God rested on the 7th day. It is ok to sit on the couch and watch 19 Kids and Counting. The question I ask myself is, how much of this am I doing?
I want it to be said of me that the way I spent my time was purposeful, diligent, wise. I don’t spend my time that way now. Some days I do conquer laziness and diligence wins, but not as often as I would like.
If I want the use of my time to be described as
P U R P O S E F U L
D I L I G E N T
W I S E
then I have to start somewhere.
My starting place: the oldest gets up at 630am, the baby gets up at 830am. In this season I have no excuse and must have a quiet time in the mornings while my big boy is resting on the couch watching a movie. I also need to do something with my oldest during the baby’s morning nap. I don’t need to jump on the computer right away, but we can do something fun together or clean together or even watch a movie together. We just need to do something together. He needs that mommy time. (and I need the practice if I’m going to attempt homeschooling!)
2 purposeful baby steps towards diligence with my time. I can conquer laziness in these areas and once that is done, more baby steps to follow!
Laziness: this is your warning. You are being squeezed out of my daily routine. You cannot co-exist with diligence and I choose diligence. Goodbye laziness. Have fun somewhere else!
(The picture of the bathroom is NOT my bathroom. I wouldn't mind having that bathroom, though!)
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